james 1

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors......Anyone who meets a testing challenge head on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life. "

Sometimes these tests and challenges knock us off our feet. They come out of nowhere, we are tested when we least expect it... and it is almost impossible to see the "gift" in the challenge.

I started my day Monday knowing that it would be a great day. A happy day. Reed and I went for our 16 week check-up and for an ultra-sound to determine the sex of the baby! We couldn't wait to find out and share the news with our friends and family...and were so excited to tell Smith if he was having a brother or a sister! The day obviously didn't go the way WE had planned. I know that the Lord has a different plan for us and our family.

We couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. I was just so shocked. I have had a healthy pregnancy. I felt fine. I guess I just always thought I would know if something was wrong.

I had a DNC on Tuesday and now I am home resting. The surgery went very well and my WONDERFULLY AMAZING husband is taking great care of me.

I am so very thankful for the wonderful husband and beautiful son that the Lord has given me. He has also blessed me with family and friends who have covered us in prayer. I am still not sure what I feel...how I feel. I haven't felt much the past few days. I truly have faith the the Lord will give me understanding and peace. I know that He has great plans for us and that He is going to teach us so much from this heartbreaking time.

I pray for courage, peace, and understanding. I pray mostly for the healing of our broken hearts.